S3E52 · Tarni White: Collingwood AFLW

We're back. Another episode of Virtus.podcast. Your thinking's on the wrong ear. Oh my god, that's the best start I've ever seen. Georgia, clip it. You have your ear around the wrong way. You're gonna have it like inwards. You didn't tell me that. Oh my god. That is the best start of the podcast we've ever had. Thank you. Oh god. Welcome back to Virtus.podcast. We are here with Tarnie White, AFLW player at Collingwood Pies and we're here with Harvey as well who has just decided to bunker up shop today. Welcome Tarnie. Not your best start. Thoughts? It'll get better, I promise.

I'm worried for you. I'm worried for myself. My heart rates up. Anyone who's not watching buying a wagon home, Tarnie just had her headset on completely back to front with the noise receiving part facing outwards. I thought that's why I could hear you. I thought that's what you wanted. Oh my lord. No? So Tarnie. I've got a lot of experience, I promise. It's like when you line your resume. I've done this before. Yes, good. A little formal heart rate check while you're at now after that little introduction. Probably like 80s to 90s. Yeah, you're peaking now.

It's 94. For reference we're about 56 before I hit that red button that says record. Hey Tarnie, what's up? Welcome to the potty. Thank you. Welcome to like the less official official side of Virtus. So you've been on the floor done a few sessions but now you're in the hot seat. I am. You excited? Very nervous. I'm excited. I am. You've done some cool shit and I don't think you realise that. Really? Yeah. Talk about it. No, we're going to talk about it. That's the whole point. If we could talk about it now it would be over in 3 minutes and that's unfortunately not how this works.

That's unfortunate, isn't it? Tarnie, what do you do? I play in the AFLW. I don't have a job. It is my job, really. I was going to say, it is a job. It kind of is, yeah. Full time athlete now. Loving it. Part time mum. Dog mum. Yeah, just dog mum. Dog mum. Dog mum. Yes. I've been a mother for about a year now. It's been a wild journey but I'm really grateful. Yeah, because she's adorable. Yeah, she is. Yeah. Well, she gets it from a good mum. Yeah, we'll go with that. What's your weeks look like at the moment?

So where are we at in the year? This won't come out for a few weeks so let's give a bit of context of where we are right now. Alright, so we're the first week of June. First week of pre-season for us girls. Official, of course. Yes. The old official unofficial. Official unofficial pre pre pre-season. Been training at Pides for a few months now. Loving it. Just been doing a little bit of rehab for the knee and getting my strength up and fitness and now ready to hit the ground running with the girls. Yeah. Week 1. Are you excited?

Are you nervous? No, not at all. I literally. #DoYouKnewMe. Yeah, pretty much. I got a little bit nervous but to be fair, I've been with those girls for a few months now so you couldn't wipe the smile off my face. Yeah, we didn't talk about the transition and all that fun stuff, don't worry. Can't wait. What are you most excited about for pre-season? Looking at the next 11 weeks from now, I guess. Give or take. Everything, really. I feel like I've learnt the game plan pretty well back to front already. Been taking to a lot

of men's footy games and football trainings, helping them out as well and just learning what the club's about and their values and the culture and all that stuff. But the one thing I'm really excited about is probably just to see how we shape up in the competition once we play obviously but pre-season's always a grind but the one thing I love about it is those hard Saturday sessions and then you get to have coffee and brunch afterwards and just laugh about how hard it was. That's probably the reason why we all do stuff in the morning.

Coffee and brunch after. We just had coffee from lovely common folk. Made your day. Good coffee down on the niche. That's actually why I came down here. Not what you get on city side anymore, that's for sure. No, not anymore. Coffee, cafes, golf courses, beaches. I've got beach. Port Melbourne beach versus Serrano back beach. I know what I'm picking. I'm taking Serrano 9 times out of 10. You win, you win. So pre-season what is your kind of week shape up/look like day to day? Now you're a full time athlete, not half and half. Half and half, yeah.

So basically we start early Monday morning. Finish around 1pm usually after I've done an extra bike section. And then Tuesdays and Thursdays obviously leading into the nights. And then I'll do an extra row. And then Wednesdays are Pilates. Fridays uppers. Saturday sessions are in the morning. Need some of those uppers. 7am start, I do. I'm still in the noodle club. You're still there, yeah. Yeah, I am. But I'll get out of it. Don't worry. We need a new chairman now actually. Our chairman's moved on so at the Saints we need a new chairman of noodle club.

I have to get your nomination actually. Who do you reckon should be the new chairman now that Shitty's moved on as well? Shitty and I are noodle club originators. OG's. Chairman's gone. CEO's still there. Rest in peace. Who do you reckon steps into the chairman seat? Or chair lady seat? Woman seat? Chairperson? Person. Yeah, I like that. I don't know, probably Renee. She's just like where it is. She hasn't ever experienced noodle club though. You've got to have someone who's been in there first and is like grown up and, you know, moved up through the ranks.

Tiana Smith. Yeah, that's fair. Tiana Smith. 100%. Yeah, we'll give her that. She was a proper noodle and then she came back not a noodle. Yeah, and I'm still a noodle. You know who actually, this is completely sidetracked, we started talking about noodles. Noodles. So context basically is normally we do a lot of upper body extras irrespective of what club you're at. It's nice doing upper body. So noodle club for those who have no idea about Virtus, it originated here actually. It's just like people who are a little lankier with their arms shall we say. They look like those little car yard noodles and their arms flapping in the wind.

They grow up and they de-noodle themselves and they graduate from noodle club. So that's where we're at on that. And the context for that is, you know who's not, will never ever be in noodle club again? She's going to hate me talking about this because she sprayed me all of this week. Beckot, those shoulders are capped. Yeah. She is jacked. I reckon it's just from the basketball. And I'm most definitely not allowed to talk about it but I'm going to talk about it because she hates it. She's jacked. Yeah. I walked in on Thursday night and I was like, you've been doing it here, actually she's like, actually no, stop talking about it.

I was like, oh I'm just, come on Odie, you know, it's a reward. I wouldn't want to be defended by her. No. No, not at all. No, not in the slightest bit. What were we talking about? I don't know. Your weeks, upper body exercise Friday, long session Saturday, coffee. Yeah. And then Sunday is usually recovery. Usually that's when I'll utilise the resources at the footy club, go do a sauna or whatever I feel like at the time. Ice colds. Yeah. Give or take, depending on the week, obviously how many sessions are you doing in a week, including recovery?

This is encapsulating everything, not just what you have to do to be at the club, but like you now as a full-time athlete, like how many sessions are you actually doing? Probably an extra five on top. So what's that, nine? Yeah, nine or ten usually. Nice. If you had the choice or you did have the choice, what would you add on top of your week as well that you're not currently doing that you think would be beneficial to you? It's quite hard to say, isn't it? I don't know. Yeah. Thank you. I don't know. I feel like...

You're hitting pilates, you've got your weights, you've got your normal footy riding, you've got your recovery. Is there anything else you feel like you're missing right now? I would say a really good thing is, and a lot of athletes don't do it, is just downtime. Yeah. I feel like that kind of just completes your week if you can have a really nice downtime and a bit of mindfulness. What's tiny time look like? I usually go walk the dog, go along the beach. That's when usually I'll kill two birds with one stone and go in the water and just sit there.

Yeah, it's really nice. Oh, they like the water? Oh, she loves it. You can't get her out. Oh, really? Yeah, this one time at Bankham. There was a guy in the water and no one else on the beach and she decided to jump in the water while it was like, I reckon 12 degrees and just went and swam to him to say hello. Well, she's a goldie. Yeah, but I'm an introvert and I was like, come on. Your dogs balance you out. It really does. We work nice together. It's an experience to socialise. You take your dog out and people want to talk to you.

You know, I'm like, keep going. You're a little flat white going, don't talk to me, I'll just go to you. On your shot. What have you, so for context, where did you start playing footy? Because obviously we're going to go way back. We're going to talk about a little tiny little tiny little tiny little little. I started playing rugby first and then in transitions over to AFL played with the boys. Apparently when I was seven and eight years old, the rugby boys were too big and I was just this big. I was a little tiny and I had to wear a shoulder gear and NFL pads.

Yeah, literally. And I was just like, this is a little girl. I was like, Oh God. Got snapped in half, but it's all right. Probably where I learned how to be tough. Probably. Probably, but we don't know about that. I'll give it to you. Played with the boys all the way through to I was 14 and then I was playing with the girls. So, you know, two games every week at two different clubs. And then that's kind of where it started to really kick off through state teams and all that. Yeah. And then transitioned my way down to Melbourne when I was 18.

I probably always had it in my head that I wanted to move to Melbourne. And I reckon you ask anyone I know in Brisbane, they'd be like, yeah, she was always going to move. Yeah. What's what did life look like in Brisbane for you at that stage? So under 18. Yeah. In high school, like what's, what do you remember about that part kind of part of your life time in your life? Um, well, I graduated when I was 17 and then obviously draft at 18, but probably within that 16 to 18 period, I obviously did my first ACL.

Um, and I kinda just wanted to change already. Um, and probably a really good challenge as well. And so I thought now's the perfect time to go. Um, while I can still, you know, maybe try to start making a name for myself in the AFLW. Um, and also just learning about who I am as a person and knowing how to be independent. It's really hard when your mum does your washing and cooks and everything. Your mum is a lovely lady. She's beautiful. Yeah. Little Karen. Yeah. Literally Karen. She's not a Karen from Brighton. Yeah. We're not calling her Karen just for reference here.

Um, but yeah, so I felt like I just needed a little bit more. What was high school life look like? Did you like school? Did you hate school? I reckon I went through phases, um, where I really wanted to knuckle down and I wish I did to be fair, but I just realised it probably wasn't for me. Like I feel like there are so many different types of learners out there and I'm really grateful that my parents didn't push me in either direction. They just kind of let me choose my own journey. Um, and I tried so many different things and I've had so many different types of jobs.

I started a fish shop. Like fish and chip shop or like bait and tackle? No, no, like bait and tackle. I can relate to that. My uncle actually owns a bait and tackle shop. So you're among company. Yeah. Yeah. Until your mum picks you up at like 15 and goes, you stink. Yeah. That's not so ideal. Yeah. And it's just a stench wouldn't get off. Yeah. It's actually my nickname. Yeah. I love that. What's um, was PE just like your favourite subject? Like, you know, typical sporty kind of gal? Yeah, pretty much. Um, what were you good at?

Touch footy. Loved it. Absolutely loved it. Went to the States and all that for that as well. Um, and there probably isn't still like much of a pathway towards that either. Um, I really wish I could try rugby again in the NRLW or rugby sevens. Probably something up the back of my sleeve that I'd love to do and see if my body allows me to do that. You're still a spring chicken. Yeah, exactly. And like my old washed up butt over here. So talk to me about your first knee. Yeah. So obviously a fair chunk of this is knee related.

Knee. So I've had some issues. Some knee issues. Knee issues. Yes. So talk to me about the first one. Yeah, I reckon it was a really hard point to do an ACL leading, um, like a year into the draft, especially with where I was at. Um, not to sound egotistical, but probably scouted as probably one of the best in Queensland or Brisbane at the time. Um, and probably felt the pressure to really go above and beyond when I did my rehab, um, when I did my first ACL. Sorry. Um, I think you carried that through the next one just quietly.

Thank you very much. Um, it was really hard. I didn't know who to go to. I was still in the Lions Academy at that stage and, um, resources were very limited cause you're not in the AFL system. Um, you aren't provided with the best of the best. Um, but I was fortunate enough that, um, I was just training with the Lions AFLW and I was able to use their gym at the Gabba. Um, thanks to Craig Stasovitz she saw something in me and just allowed me to do that at the time. Um, I was seeing the best physio Miranda O'Hara.

Um, so yeah, I re I really gave it my all at the time, but it probably the one thing reflecting back on, I wish I probably took more time for myself mentally and learned about myself there. Um, I feel like it probably opened up a little hole of, um, where I became quite anxious, but I didn't know, um, the anxiety side of things and like how, how my behaviours were at the time. Um, probably why I'm a little bit introverted now and yeah, so it was really hard. Um, but I still wouldn't change it even if I could go back and not do it again.

I'd still allow myself to do it and go through that. Do you remember much of like the day you did it? Oh yeah. Um, so I had great grandparents coming up from Albury and they were watching my footy game and just to Queensland. Yes. Yep. To Queensland from Albury. Um, and I remember we played at four forty five and I did it in the first six minutes. Um, and it was on the eighth of May. I remember everything about it. I was just someone kicked it out and they didn't kick it. Well, let's be fair. They kicked it to the park.

No, I went out there. Look, to be fair, my knee did it. Hey, to be fair, when I broke my leg, I also got a terrible kick towards me. So yeah, so it's their fault. Anyway, carry on. Um, yeah, so I was just leading out to the pocket with a bit of a grub and footy and I've just stepped out too far. Money buckled. Um, and that was my right knee first. Yep. Um, and I remember just screaming. It was excruciating pain, but then it just stopped. Yeah. It just instantly stopped after a few minutes and I was like, what the heck does this mean?

And everyone's like, at the time ACLs were like starting to get really spoken about and I was like, I don't have done an ACL. I was like, Oh, there goes that. And there goes that. There goes the state team and nationals. I was like, and I was kind of just catastrophizing. I was like, I'm done. Um, so it was a, it was a really hard period and probably for my parents as well to, to deal with me poor things, but they got through. What's uh, what was the turnaround time? Like surgery wise, like what surgery did you actually have?

Cause obviously back then there was not as many options as there is now. Uh, what did that kind of look like? Yeah. So I played exactly on 12 months later. Um, first game was in Perth for nationals. Um, but yeah, the, the surgery is very interesting because I've had one in Brisbane and Melbourne and I prefer the one in Melbourne now to be fair. Um, after surgery, my first one in Brisbane, I was, um, up with my leg like this instead of out straight. And for like, I reckon the first three months I was just learning how to get my leg straight.

Yep, exactly. So I was like, well, I know it defeats the purpose. I was like, why not put it out straight? Um, so yeah. And I, I carry that into my next surgery where I was arguing with the nurses post surgery. I was arguing. I was like, why is my leg not bent out? And they're like, no, this is so much better. I was like, all right, say less. Um, what, uh, what graph did you have the first time around? Hamstring. I've had both hammies. Um, but I had an extra procedure on the second ACL, which is elite.

Don't know what it stands for. No, I actually don't know. I always forget what it actually stands for. So it's literally the longest word. I'm just like, I'll look it up every time. Yeah. Um, but there are, it's interesting because there are so many different types of surgeries now. Um, and I feel like it's forever evolving. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. What about, so from surgery after you've done your first one, was that like instantaneous or you had to wait a certain amount of time because technically it's like elective surgery technically. Yeah. The, the lions got me in two weeks after.

Um, the bonus of being in that environment. Hey, exactly. Yeah. I was very fortunate. Um, just probably with Craig, I had that really strong relationship with him since I was 12, um, in the Queensland, um, academy and he, I think he just knew, I guess my potential. Um, so he got me in straight away. Yeah. Very, very grateful. Recovery rehab. Hard. Oh yeah. It was hard. It was hard because it's still, yeah. I also just, I was at that age where I was, I was like starting to, I guess go to parties. Yeah. And as

well, and I was like, okay, well I want to experience being a, that teenager adult life, but I got a rehab and I've got to be professional. And I was like, okay, how do I balance that? Um, so the balance side was probably really hard for me and I, I got it wrong at times and I'll happily acknowledge that, um, a little bit too hard on the partying. Um, and then I pulled up all the next day and I'm like, okay, right. I'll never do that again. Yeah. And I learned those lessons instantaneously. What do

you, what do you, from what you remember, what are your biggest learnings or takeaways from that that we'll get into in a minute that you took into your second one? Um, the patience. Yeah. Like let everything fall into place. Um, especially when you trust the people around you, which I did at the time. Um, it's just do exactly as I say. Um, and it asks for more and if they say no, then respect that. Um, but be really diligent with everything you do. If you do a really bad rep, do it again. Make sure it's perfect.

Did you have any speed dumps or roadblocks in the first one? Not that I can remember. No, I was pretty smooth sailing. Yeah. How'd you feel about going into your first game post first one? Horrible. I remember that feeling. Um, well it was for Queensland as well and we're versing WA, um, over in Perth and I just, I was shocked at the, the level of the, like the speed has changed in nationals. I reckon from a year ago I wasn't coming into it as fit. Um, and obviously a lot of anxiety around that going, am I still going to be drafted?

Like where do I sit now? Um, so again, I worked really hard on not catastrophizing everything. Um, and I kind of just had to, I guess pray in a way that my hard work through rehab got me through in time. Is that something you've come to like upon reflection or is that something that like you're pretty aware of like in the moment? I was very aware. I feel like I'm very self-aware of myself. Um, I knew I wasn't fit enough. So, and usually I was a midfielder my entire life and I re I played half forward.

I was like, no, those mids are fitter than me. Like there's not a chance in hell that I'll keep up and I'll like that lets the team down play me somewhere else. They can hide me, but still make an impact or like do those little one percenters like shepherd for teammates who want to kick a goal or whatever. Yeah. How'd you go in the carnival? Not that good. Team wise or individual wise or both? Um, individual wise. Yeah, it was really hard. Um, because we played in Perth and then, um, I think a few months later or a month or two later, um, then we played at the Gold Coast and I played a lot better there individually.

Um, but it, it was quite inconsistent and depending on who we versed. If it was Vic Metro, Vic Country, um, I remember we played the allies and I played a lot better there. Um, and I think I, when I played with freedom, I played a lot better when I wasn't overthinking. Um, that's really where I shined, um, especially in patches. Um, and knew that I was like, okay, I could, I can get back to, you know, playing some really good footy again. It's probably not right now, but it's definitely going to come. Yeah. Is like

when you're talking about being in that flow state, is that something you're able to like consciously become aware of and like my, push your mindset towards being in a flow state or is that something that depending on the day, that's just kind of how you get into it? Like what are some of the things that help you achieve that I guess? Yeah, interesting. I've had this conversation with a lot of athletes is like, you just don't know sometimes you just in that kind of way. Yeah. And then some are actually able to cultivate some of the stuff they're feeling and turn it into a flow state type setup.

Yeah. I reckon I can do that. Yeah. Especially, um, like I don't see, like when I get anxious or nervous, I don't see it as a bad way anymore. I go, okay, that's actually more fuel to my fire. I can use these nerves and turn it into energy, um, in a good way and be able to, I guess use it as an output, um, for longer periods of time as well. Um, I think that just comes with time and a bit of repetition of self-talk. Um, it has to be positive. Um, and I guess also very, yeah, it's, it's hard not to talk to yourself negatively and everyone battles with it.

There's always a little, little devil and angel, um, on either shoulder. Um, yeah, I was watching a video with Roger Federer and he was getting absolutely smashed by this tennis player, um, at a tournament and he kind of just walked back, um, to, to reset in a way. And he was like already thinking about what he was going to say in the press conference afterwards. And he's like, and he was able to snap out of it instantly and go, okay, well to win this, I'm like, I need to stop thinking about the future. I need to worry about the present and that's how I perform.

How can I get back into that flow state mindset? And he was able to come back from that and fight those demons. So every time I'm in that mindset, I actually think of him going, okay, there's always going to be a devil on your shoulder. How do you, I guess, talk, talk yourself out of it. Yeah. Bit of red bone, blue bone, huh? Yeah. Fire and ice. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Talk to me about little draft honey. What was the process like from under 18 to one nominee for draft and what obviously you said

you already knew you wanted to move, but what the process is of nominating for a different state seeing you are in Queensland and you're nominated for a big draft. Yeah, I, well, my first thing I had to do was get a manager, um, because I didn't know any contacts in Victoria to speak to, um, or to get my name out there. So, um, I got a manager, um, and he was really helpful in the whole process, um, to get me to where I wanted to be. Um, it was really hard when I was nominating and it was like becoming really official.

I still remember it. I was at my sister's house and all my parents were there and I was inside just going like, there's a few boxes going like all Victoria, Queensland, Adelaide, and like you just nominating where you want to go. And I was like, that's kind of terrifying with a pen in your hand to just, just my life could change if I tick a different box. And I just went click and did it. And then I just like went outside and I was like, by the way, shit. So guys, um, that was the Victoria boxer.

Yeah. And my mum's face, she was just like, and just like, oh, so upset like that. Yeah. I've been telling them for like 10 years and for them to come to terms with it. No, not until after I left probably like a year or two ago. They were like, are they still there or has your mum moved down there? No, she's not there. I couldn't remember. That's so negative. Your mother is a lovely lady. How did that go down from like a family point of view? Are you close to like your extended family? Like did

you have a pretty tight knit family or they kind of spread a little bit or, um, I would say we're, we're spread, but we're close. Um, my brother moved out a year after I did as well, but we still all managed to find a way to keep in contact. And, um, I guess the one thing I love about living outside of home now is that Christmas and the family events that you get to go home to. Um, and you, I feel like you just become more blessed because you're like, all right, my grandparents are here. And, and just that feeling of like, everyone's around me take, take it in.

Yeah. Lots of my cousins got little kids now, so Christmas is going to get more fun. There's a big lull when like the adult kids, sorry, the kid adults get old enough where Christmas becomes a little bit of a lull, then they have kids and then it gets fun again. And then that's where we're at now. So, so we're kind of at a little different stage. We don't have any kids, but we have a lot of dogs. Sure. That's just as good. Yeah. So everyone brings their dumps home and it's just a nightmare. That's fun though.

It's fluffy kids keeps you on your toes. Yeah. Um, so timeline from dominating to actual draft, what's how, what's that look like and were you nervous as hell for that dude? Oh, I did not know where I was going to go on draft day. Um, so many clubs were playing little games. Yeah. That's the normal thing. What, what does that look like for someone who has no idea? Not personally, but like for people who are listening, you have like no idea what draft games look like. What is that as an athlete? Um, they're just leading you on a little bit and teasing you and they do that to your managers.

So they'll, because they know that your managers will speak to other clubs and pass on that information. And then so they're like, Oh, okay, I won't take tiny then because she won't be available or she might be available later on. So I'll use someone else. And then before you know it, they completely tricked that other club. Big old mind games. Yeah. And that's what saints did. Um, and it was funny because my sister's a long time saints fan and she came in on draft day with a saints scarf and was like, I reckon you're going to go to saints.

I was like, I reckon I'm not because they just said like they don't want me and like no one is talking to me and I was like, Oh my God, I'm not going to get drafted before you know it. Tiny white. I was like, Oh, thank God. Um, 30 I think. Yeah. Yeah. What pick in a big draft was it though? Um, I think it was 15 or 16. I did have a look last night. I think it was 15 or 16 so there you go. Yeah. And I was, to be fair, I was so worried about what pick I was going to be since I was like 14, 15 I was like, I want to be the highest pick.

I want to be this. I want to be that like and your ego just gets totally in the way. And on draft day I was like, I actually don't care what pick I am. And yeah, just take me. Someone take me and I'll happily play wherever. Did you have a club you wanted to go to? Um, I really liked saints and like who I was speaking to at the time. Like I was really, really fond of them. Um, especially because my sister's a huge saints fan as well. Um, I was really keen on North Melbourne. Yeah.

Um, yeah. And I liked Carlton, but yeah. Yeah. Then you got stuck with us. Now I'm at Piers. Yeah. We have a war horse. You gotta lead the people down the path. No, no, no. What did moving in a state look like? So obviously draft night, you get picked up. What does that look like? That obviously just can't play anything. Like one, you don't know if you're going to get drafted full stop. Two, if you do get drafted, you don't know where you're going to get drafted to. And then three, what does that kind of look like from packing up your life?

Yeah. It was hectic. As soon as I got drafted, I was like, let's go right now. I'm out. It was, I was really fortunate that I had no idea where St Kilda trained and it was in Moorabbin and I was like, where the heck is that? I looked on the maps. I was like, that's nowhere near the city or anything. It's like in the sticks. I was like, Oh my God. And then I was fortunate enough that, um, and our friend Nikki Koosten who was in the academy, um, I was in as like a site or wellbeing manager, sorry.

Um, she offered for me to stay there, um, in a spare room and she lived, I was 15 minutes from the club and I was like, I'll be there in two weeks. Yep. Literally two weeks. Yeah. And my mom's like, you're moving so soon. And I was like, no, I got to get there because you got to start training and get fit and like get used to everything. And everyone's like, you're crazy. I was like, no, no, no, not at all. I was excited. I was so excited. I remember I walked in the saints for the first time and all the boys are in the gym and I was like, Oh my God, it's real.

Yeah. And then I just, I don't know what was over me at the time, but I just have this like a little bit of courage. I walked into the gym and just started my own gym. I had no one. And then they offered to help put the weights on. I remember I was doing trap bar deadlift and I was like, this is amazing that they're so lovely. Just said hello off the bat. They didn't need to do that. They're like doing their own gym session. Um, so I was like, yeah, this is a really good club.

What are some moments in the first week at your new club coming from Brisbane, which is, you know, most of the part they train at the gabber for the most part, obviously a little different now, but coming from that, like a huge stadium to little old Moorabbin at the sticks. What was the first like, or some things that you remember from the first week that you were like, shit, this is real now. Or, Hey, this is way different than what I thought it was going to be. Um, I remember Kat Phillips texting me. Um, she was my first friend at saints.

Yeah. She's, Oh, I love her so much. Um, she's so excited. Oh my God. Little Phillips. Um, and she texted me, she's like, do you want to go for a run and coffee? I was like, yeah, let's go. Yeah. And I didn't realise Kat Phillips is an amazing runner and we're doing 200 and I was like, this is, this is a standard now. Yeah, this is rough, but this is where I gotta be. I gotta get fit. I gotta get extra fit. I've got to do everything right. Um, and she was a great training partner, but also friend to lean on throughout, um, my time at saints.

Um, she's helped me a lot mentoring with leadership as well. Um, just with my communication skills and everything else in between. I absolutely love it. What else do you remember about the first week of the club? Not much after that. So that run, yeah, it was a big blur. Um, everything just happened. There was so many meetings and induction period for two weeks and I was just like, Oh my God, there's so much going on. Um, and because it is, it was a first ever team that there was so much excitement and happiness around the club and everyone was in that novelty phase and little, little honeymoon, you know?

Um, and, Oh, I wouldn't take it back for the world. I loved it so much. It was like you making history. It was fun. Yeah. What do you remember of it? Honestly, not that much. And I was trying to think about that as you were talking about it and I don't know, I think this is just sound bad, but COVID really just like messes up my timelines and my memories of so many things that like I remember the first game, like obviously very, very vividly. But from a lot of pre-season stuff that I think a lot of it just becomes a blur coming from, so I did the last year, the VFLW program when we transitioned to the AFL.

I remember more about the VFL last year, VFLW because of the excitement and the hype leading into AFL than I remember about the first year of AFLW at Sainz, which is probably terrible, but I remember the first game, I remember the line up, the banner, the fireworks, all that. Um, but yeah, the rest just becomes like a big old blur to me, which is probably horrible, but I remember being super exciting and super fun. And realistically, like for the most part, no one had really any idea what we were doing. No, no one had any idea.

There's nothing that you can do for the first year or something like that and actually have it all, like have your shit together effectively. Pretty much. Um, you just have to play it by ear and just go along with it. Yeah. It was fun though. Who did you look up to moving down here? At Sainz? It doesn't have to be just from Sainz, yeah. Or in the AFLW in general. Brie Davie, I really looked up to her. Um, yeah, your friends. Yeah. Football friends, football friends. I, yeah, idolize her so much. Um, especially knowing that she did her ACL too.

I was like, Oh my God. And then just her soccer background and the dual sport and everything else she's done in between. Um, and now she's Collingwood captain, um, won the best in Ferris for the league. Um, there are so many other girls that I still pinch myself and I feel like I'm back being a little 18 year old cause I'm just like, this is so cool. That was going to be our next question. Did you ever feel starstruck by anyone or anything? Yeah. Even my teammate, I remember watching her, um, when she was versing

the lions, um, Collingwood and lions, and I was still in the academy at the time, probably 16 and they were playing up in Brisbane and I remember watching them up the race and I was like, Oh, that is so cool. Um, and now they're my teammates. Oh, hello Harvey. Good morning. I think Harvey just had a dream. He's back to sleep. He's back to sleep. Bit of a nightmare Harvey. Shake it off. You'll be alright buddy. Um, come on, we're talking about again. Harvey's distracted me. Yeah. Starstruck. What about at saints? Like just from like a club point of view.

Cause like St Kilda is a pretty traditional club without being a huge club I'd say. Yeah. Lots of history and lots of like crazy saints fans. Yeah. Um, is there anyone that you've met, especially in like the first few years you kind of looked at and you're like, Oh my God, he's just standing across from me or Hey, I'm talking to you right now and I don't know what you're saying anymore. From my best friend Dilly. I'm terrified if I ever get her to sit in this chair. Don't. Oh, might have a few bleeps in there.

That one editing and post production. I'm going to podcast to go for like three hours. There's so many people I could like stick in a room like that. Imagine I stuck Tilly there and Kathy there. Oh, you literally don't put your mic off. I think I'd actually just become an active participant. Just watch him go at it. It would be quite funny. Yeah, it would be. Um, yeah, till for sure. Um, I remember, uh, like a, I guess a sticking moment for me was after I did my second ACL at saints around four versus Freo.

Um, I went into the rooms like where we're all getting our physio massage done and a few of the boys have come down and just asked if I was okay. Um, and the captain at the time and I just thought, you know, you actually don't have to do that, but, um, just the culture that saints were about. I was like, this is amazing that they just took their time out of their day and watching the game as well. Um, to come down and I guess ask if I was okay. Cause I clearly wasn't, but little 18 year olds just done a second knee.

Um, but yeah, I just thought that was a real moment for me going, yep, this is an amazing club. How'd you do number two? Cause I vividly remember it. Unfortunately it's on sunrise. I actually have my moment on TV. It's not a good thing. Um, yeah, I just tend to go a bullet a gate. Yeah. 110% and I just stepped out too far and this, this girl from Fremantle has a stepped to my right and my left knee has gone that way. Yeah. And I, I remember being in slow motion and I was like, nah, it's not going to do it.

And I just went crack. And before, you know, I was on the ground and I was like, oh, I just did it again. It's like your prime example of how you're going to do it basically. Yeah, pretty much. Yep. Yep. So that was great. What was the difference that you remember from doing the first one and the second one? Like in the moment, do you remember it? Like, should I have done it again or shut that didn't hurt so bad or, Oh my God, did I just do that again? Oh yeah. The second one, I reckon I've been told so many times that, Oh, you looked in so much pain on the second one.

And I was like, I actually wasn't in pain. That was just me being sad because I knew I did it. Yeah. And this catastrophizing going, Oh my God, I've got a year of rehab again. And the highs and lows of it. I was like, God, I'm dreading it in that moment. Especially hanging out with me four times a week. Oh, literally why you want to quit your job. No, I'm kidding. I'm okay with it. Oh, that's why we're here today. Three, four years later. Yeah, exactly. Couldn't have been too bad. Yeah, not at all. But

yeah, I just knew instantly that it was kind of, yeah, we knew like is, as I said, it was one of those ones you're like, Oh God, here we go again. Yep. Pretty much. Um, and I love when you know, the physios, the doctor's like, Oh, let's just get a scan. I'm just like, no, you don't have to sugar coat things to me. I'm like, I've done it. I know. Just tell me how it is. She's like, alright, you did it. I was like, thanks. Now I can cry. Pretty much. Turn around time from second one to surgery.

Same kind of thing. Straight in. Yep. Straight in two weeks later. I'm pretty sure. Um, we versed Carlton and then Richmond and then I was in surgery in between those. Um, and the surgery was, I was up and walking the first few days. I remember walking around the club though. I was like, where's your crutches? I was like, yeah. No, I didn't do any yelling. I didn't have to. I just remember heel to toe, heel to toe, heel to toe, heel to toe. It'll get straight. Um, but the total time was nine months on the dot and I'm like, I'll happily say that to anyone.

I have nine months SCL rehab because it's just, yeah. What allowed you to be nine months instead of 12 months? I reckon being in the system and who was doing my rehab. Um, like the, like you, um, and Ben were so dedicated to the rehab girls and obviously everyone else in the team. But it was just a, it's a full time gig. Um, and it's not just making sure I'm doing my repetitions right, but it's also the followups that you did as well that also got me through. So like everything in between. And I think there was a different system in place as well.

Um, the first one I thought I was held back a lot because of my age. They were like, your risk of doing it again is like this much percent. I was like, cool, awesome. Don't care. Get me going. Um, and to be fair, if I do want to get now, I'm just like, okay, cool. Cause I've done everything, right? Yeah. And I think that's a shame. I don't know if you know this or not, but from our point of view, like one, you'd done it before, so you kind of know what you're in for. But

two, like from, I remember this from Ben and I's point of view, like you are very, very diligent and sometimes too diligent with everything you do. You and Renee stick you two together in the same room. Too diligent with like everything you do, which is a good thing if you like cultivate and like taper that. So like from our point of view, it was just criteria based. So as soon as you pass one thing, it's just move on to the next. We never really took a timeline approach. We just took like a criteria based approach that these are the things you need to do.

And you know, someone who is an athlete and you've done it before, you knew what you had to do full stop, which also just allowed you to go, okay, next box tick, next box tick, and just go through the stages of, yeah. Yeah. And that's what I loved about it. It was more criteria based as you say, rather than going, Oh, you've got to wait this many months for this. Um, it was more like, okay, you're moving well, you feel well, um, your strengths up, let's go, let's push on. Yeah. And like with normal science,

we know a graph takes X amount of months anyway to heal full stop irrespective of how well you do your rehab and how well you progress, which is fine. But knowing that as well just made it a bit easier. Yeah, exactly. Especially from your point of view is like, I know that this graph takes X amount of months to recover and fully heal full stop. It's not going to happen until then anyway. So I'm just gonna do everything I can until that point. So that's in a best case scenario. Yeah. And that's still how I think.

Um, and it's probably like it's driven me in a good way. Um, and I, I've got to be really self aware of how much I think about it, but I try to use it as feel again going, okay, well now I am a full time athlete. Um, I'm going, let's still be really diligent with everything I do. And if injuries happen or if another ACL happens, that's just really bad luck. Touch wood, literally your head. It's pretty hollow. But yeah, and that's the way I think. I hope it never happens to me or anyone, but if it does, then that's unfortunate because I've done everything right.

Yep. And I've followed the protocol. So yeah, yeah. What about position wise? So obviously you played out of position at saints for the first few years. How'd you go with that? It was very difficult in the sweet spot. I have some background information, you know, this is why you call me in. I just wanted to hang out with you, make some coffee. It was a good coffee. Um, yeah, it was really challenging. Yeah. Where'd you play? Oh, mid forward, half back. Um, yeah, it was really challenging because I, I am a utility and I've owned it now, but to settle into a position takes a little bit longer sometimes.

And also pending on who you verse, who you play on as well and how the team structure is. If we want to be more attacking one week or we've got to be more defensive and everything else that falls into place. Um, so for me it was a, it was a big challenge and obviously at that time, like, and still now, like I'm still so young and immature minded at times and I have to go, okay, hang on a second. I'm not thinking like an adult. I'm thinking like a little 18 year old at times. Um,

so I've got to always keep myself in check, um, with how my thoughts are, but I've, I've definitely come, come around to it going and embraced it. I really have at Pies. Um, knowing that, you know, I am the utility. That's why they want me. Um, that's why they want me here. And to think that I may well be like an integral part of their team, um, then I'll do everything I can for them. Yep. Where would you love to play? Where would you like to happen to Anna? Probably midfield. Obviously it's the best position. Um, but I think at Pies I'm quite open to anything because there are so many girls that can do different roles.

Um, so it compensates for if I need to play out of position as well. Um, so the load of pressure isn't, I guess, always on that one person. It's on the entire team because we can all do different roles, um, and chop in and out where we need. And that's how I guess they've become so successful over the years because everyone can do, I guess, not everything, but so many different roles. Um, so that's probably why the buy-ins there from me. Yeah. Loving it. How'd you go moving clubs? It was hard. I, and yeah, I feel like I'm still mourning in a way.

Like I see saints on socials. Yeah. Interesting. I am soft. Yeah. I know you have a soft side. Don't worry. I've seen the soft side. You've cried on me a few times. Sure. I know you're right. You got me fine. Yeah, for sure. I still am. Like I remember the still pretty fresh though. Like you're not going to, yeah, I feel I felt like a little bit of an imposter at Pies and then I like through the transition period, the last few months I was like, Oh my God, like this is just so hectic. I, I miss my saints skills and all that and the staff as well.

But then coming to think of it, I was like, no, no, I'm here for a reason. I got to allow myself to feel this, but also know that I'm here to do a job. That's probably the one thing I regret and like selfishly like talking about my like sporting athlete life. Like it's probably the one thing I should have done that I never did, which was move clubs. Yeah. Which I'm like, look back now. I'm like, shit. Now we're washed up talking to athletes. What are you doing now? I definitely, it was one of those things I wish I definitely did.

What's the thing? I wouldn't say what like made you move, but what kind of, obviously you moved to Queensland and then you've moved clubs. Like what makes you want to move on? Is it like further development? Like is there like finding your feet somewhere else? Like you just want to know experience like what's the driver for you? A fair few things. It was, um, not to say like it won't happen again, but I'm, I feel like I'm at the right place where I need to be right now. Um, for my career. And I think the

moving factor for me from Queensland to Melbourne was for my career and um, you know, being at saints like, and also like having to move to pies. I thought, okay, well I need to do something again for my career as selfish as that may seem. Um, I had to challenge myself in ways that probably I haven't challenged myself before or like gone further than what I've experienced. Um, and it was really hard to kind of come to terms with that because you're leaving behind like 30 incredible girls and then staff as well in the memories. And I remember like, Oh, it even still, you don't ever get to, yeah, that's still by the first game.

I did. Yeah. Um, but yeah, it was really hard. I, I knew that I needed a little bit more for myself to be fair and that's probably like, I'm not trying to shade saints out at all, but I just, for me as the trying to be as professional as I can be with standards and all that stuff, I thought, you know what, this is, this is what I need for myself. Um, and to challenge myself and put myself out of my comfort zone again. Um, and really character building. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. And I didn't want to do another potty.

She has to lead her own soon. I'm so excited. But we'll look after her dog. Yeah. He's pretty cute. Yeah, it was, it was tough and I, yeah, I still do more on it, especially like seeing the girls in the first week. Um, I was like, Oh my God, like I know exactly what they're doing and where they are. And I was like, Oh, I don't know what that structure looks like and I know what they're doing now. Yeah. And so like I had to allow myself to again go through that and going, okay, like that's all right.

And I spoke to a few PIES girls going like, Oh, is this a normal feeling? And they're like, yep, it is. When I move clubs, I experienced that too. And I feel like it's just more having the conversation about it rather than building a hundred percent. I would think it's something you move on pretty quickly when you get into your usual routine. Like it's 100% yeah. You're only thinking about it when you scroll on Instagram, what you know, like, Oh yeah, that's pretty cool. I miss that. And then you're like, Oh yeah. And then it's like training time and I'm like, all right, blue brain, blue brain, the saints thing as well.

Isn't it? I didn't bring that. I actually bought this here a little bit, but I need to bring it more here. It's pretty good. It does make so much sense. It does. It really does. I love it. Um, what about, what about Congo excites you? Oh, everything just in general, just not necessarily footy or the girls or the facilities. Just like what, what gets you excited? It's not the facilities. I like if, if I was to say facility saints have better facilities. Um, so it's not that it's, I think it's being a part of something special and all having the same goal and working to achieve the same thing.

I remember, um, on last Monday for our first training and we got into the gym and everyone was just so serious and so many girls hit PBS at bench press that day. And I was, there was this 10 of us screaming and just like the vibe in the gym and then training and then it led into such an amazing week, um, where our skills were up, um, our intensity, but also having fun at the same time. And I probably haven't smiled that much in so long. Um, even when we went to the netball last night and supporting the netball girls at pies, um, for their last home game.

And that's been a bit of an issue itself, but we thought, all right, let's stay United and help the girls out. And they got their win as well. So, um, and we all went out to dinner last night and just having the laugh like we did and being a part of something. Yeah. It's feeling like I'm a part of something. Yeah. I love it. Nice. Yeah. It's exciting. Uh, this is like left to center cause we're going to go back two steps. Talk to me about that first. Yeah. I hate him. Hey, is just, no, I'm kidding.

He's only going to hear this when I said it to him. So I love him for someone who spent so much time with Ben though. Like, yeah, I just, I can't speak any more highly of him. He, him and I, I feel like we had a really good relationship and understanding of each other and um, what he expected of me and the way I would go and do it and the way he knew, I guess my body and my mind back the front going, Ben, like I'm not feeling good. This is a, this is a bad pain or I'm, I'm not feeling good, but I, okay, I can push you a little bit.

Um, I guess having that, I guess close relationship with your SNC is so important and something that I'll really treasure like the same with you really as well. Um, he's an amazing guy and I've, I've loved working with him over the past few years at saints. When did he drive you out the wall? Every day. I remember through COVID actually. Um, yeah, I don't know where I was living at the time somewhere. Um, and we weren't able to access the saints facilities because of COVID obviously. Um, and he had his little home gym. Um, and I remember he invited me down a thing.

It was twice a week, like early morning and we do our rehab together. And I remember at the start it was a little bit awkward. He just sit there with his coffee and go, it is like a grumpy old man, normal Ben things. And I was like, all right. And then I opened up a little bit and then he did and we just were like by the end it was such a great mutual understanding of each other and able to have really good gags at the time. And yeah, I have so much love and respect for him.

Yeah. I thought you were going to say, I'm a nice girl. Stop. Stop. Um, what about other life, like outside of life tiny, what do you like to do away from football? It's got a dog. Yeah. What do you like to do for tiny? So it's all about walking the dog and things like that before. But um, actually I, before we ever go into hobbies, what do you do for work before you came full time? I think we haven't spoken about that yet. I've had a fair few jobs. Every time we see each other, I get a new job.

Yeah. Literally. Um, but the previous job I had, I worked with the government, the department of transport full time. Um, and that was through the last season at saints and preseason. And that was probably the most challenging I've ever had it. I'm trying to tie a tiny back to back raising a puppy at the same time, no sleep. And I, and I realize it like if I wanted to be really serious, I've, I, I've just got to stop it. Um, pretty much. So it wasn't, I guess I couldn't get a casual job out of it because they needed a full time role.

Yep. So it was in my best interest and their best interest that, um, I guess I just resigned. And then, um, from there, like I am, I loved my time there because the networking side of things through the government, um, and just the transport itself. Um, like I've made so many new contacts and friends out of it that are outside the general football world. Um, and I've made a different kind of friends that are nice to be outside the football bubble. I loved it. It was a breath of fresh air at times. Um, even though they'll be like, how's footy on the weekend?

I'd be like, Oh my God, how was your weekend? Um, and it didn't help that our building right in the city overlooked the pies manifested itself. Manifested it for a while. I was like, that's pretty nice. Kidding. What else have you done previously? Previous to that, um, I worked at letter. Um, I got the job through a bit, but Brit Benichi at pies, um, whereas a community partnerships, um, development coach. Um, and that was more working with people who come from a disadvantage, um, or disability. Um, and that was where I truly found my passion for helping people and getting completely outside of my comfort zone.

Um, and just out of my own head really cause the, I'm like, okay, well someone's really got it worse than me. How can I help them? And like, and it may not be through, I may not have the qualifications, but I'm someone there who can, I guess, help educate them on health and wellbeing through my football journey. Um, or being able to sympathize with them if they're out of home going, you know what, I've moved States. I know how you feel. I've moved like 10 times since I've been to Victoria. I really know how you feel with, um, you know, being really more houses than I have.

Yep. Pretty much. So it was being able to, I guess, sympathize and empathize at times, um, with those people and just give them a empower them to give them a voice and really, um, I guess point them in the right directions to what they wanted to do in life. Um, cause a lot of them didn't have any idea. Um, so it was, yeah, I loved it. I can't say a bad word about it. I would love to go back there if I could, but full time athlete. Well, what legacy would you like to leave as an athlete?

Um, sweet question. I know. Yeah, it really is. You should have loved it. Coffee's probably worn off by now too. It has made a third. Um, I've, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'll forever evolve as an athlete. Um, especially while I'm still growing, um, like going into my adult years as an athlete as well. Cause you're still a baby. I still am. Whether I like it or not. Um, and like even just reflecting on my maturity as an 18 year old who I guess was so diligent, but also quite immature at times to who I am now and to who I might be in, I guess four years time.

Um, yeah, it's hard to say it's a long way away too. It's a long way away and I hope I'll stay in the league for 10 years or so, but I guess the legacy that I would love to leave, um, is just embracing, I guess what's around you. Um, whether that be, I guess your teammates, yourself, um, what the programs like, the club values, um, just embracing everything, take it as it comes. Um, and working with it, not against it. Um, cause I feel like you, if you try to work against things for so long, you obviously get worn out.

Um, so if you embrace what you've got rather than, I guess gloom and doom on what you don't have, then you're going to waste all this time and it's precious being an athlete timers. So yeah, yeah. Take everything while you have it. Yep. What about post athlete life? Good Lord. Yeah, I know. Um, and I don't expect you to have no of this by the way. Is there something you'd want to do? Obviously we talked about playing. Yeah. Um, pies have been really good and they've helped create like a post football life or even post like season life for me as well.

And I really love to get into the media side commentating, but the one thing is coaching as well. Um, I don't think I'd ever want to get out of the AFL system. I think I've got a really good footy brain. It's just how can I use it and adapt to, um, different communication styles or different ages or abilities and things like that. So that's probably my growth point and something I've identified at say, um, sorry, pies triggered. Um, something I've identified, I'd love to work on and lean on those people who are in some really good roles or do podcasts for example or in the media.

Exactly. That's what I want. That's why I'm here. Maybe we'll do one with jazz. Actually no, we'll cohost Tillie's one. Tillie will cohost it. To be fair, Tillie literally just hosted herself and we'll just walk out. She'll probably talk to herself. It's funny cause it's so true. Um, so yeah, I'm really into coaching lately. Um, as well as commentating and all that. Do you like the like group aspect of coaching or helping the person? Helping the person. Cause they are a little interchangeable. Yeah, definitely. Like I feel like I can see things and people that you could really work on and like, because I'm someone who sits back a lot, I, I, I guess I see a lot.

Um, so in that aspect, if I was a coach, I'd be going, I would love to help you in these ways. Um, and build on your strengths or help you somewhere where you may not be, I guess, really strong at for instance. Um, and tailor it to the person, which then goes hand in hand with the group because it's making the group better. Um, but also the individual, I guess, better and happier. Yeah. What are you doing? I don't know. I don't, I, I struggle to plan more than like six months in advance. So like I just, I live in the day to day and I like that.

Yeah. Like we all have shoot from the moon goals and things like that, but things just changed too quickly. I'm not a long term goal setter. Yeah. I'm a poor short term goal setter too. I can just, just get it done. I'm a doer. Doer. I have plans and I do planning and like I can if I need to, but I'd rather just do it and just let it evolve and it'll change 10 times. And that's, that's me. That's good to be like that though. Yeah. Until someone asks you, when are you calling in three years?

I don't know. It might still be here. I don't know. You have no idea and that's good though. You just leave me in the moment. I find it great. Yeah. Uh, Tony, we are going to wrap it up. You made it. Thank you. You survived heart rate like an hour. Heart rate check. Should be, yeah, maybe just over an hour. You'd be like mid sixties right now. Sixty nine. It's close. High sixties. Good. Keep it together. Breathe. The kid coming out. Yeah I know. Good to have an immature line. You were looking at me with the eyes.

I know I was looking at you cause I knew what you were going to do as a kid. Get it out. Do it. Do it. You embarrassed me but you were thinking it. I just said it. What have you liked about podcasting times? I actually loved it. It was actually a lot easier than I thought. Yeah. You just forget the camera's there and that we're just having a chat. Yeah. I love it. What, uh, what'd you talk about? You didn't think you were going to talk about? Um, we spoke about everything I thought to be fair.

Is that for Ben? Ben. Yeah. Careful. Careful. But I answered I will. You did. I did. Self praise. Yeah. Get another coffee for that. That's a good point actually. I could do another coffee. I could do another coffee. We're going to wrap it up. Thanks for coming down. Thanks for making the trek down the old Napeen highway. Never again. Good coffee and some hardy cuddles. Thank you for having me. Really appreciate it. Always welcome back. Uh, we'll see you in the next one. Have a good day.