S1E06 · Ed Wischer: Happiness

Hey guys, welcome to episode 6 of the Virtus performance podcast today I was lucky enough to sit down with Ed Wisher of the human happiness project where we spoke about all things happiness the current state of happiness in society and how we can all improve and be better to Hopefully leave a bigger impact and live happier healthier lives. So this was a lot of fun. So enjoy Guys, welcome to the Virtus performance podcast. This is week six And I'm sitting here with Ed Wisher of the human happiness project. Welcome, mate Thank you for having me happy to be here.

So We'll get stuck in straight with the project. Tell me a little bit more about it. So so about six months ago basic thing is I it's a Social investigation is what I've come to call it Yeah, the state of happiness across society. The way I look into that is by interviewing individuals about their sort of path to happiness And I guess through darker times in their sort of history and how they've what they've learned about happiness in their life And then sort of get their views of how things are across society. So Beautiful. Yeah, you would have met a few interesting people and heard a few interesting.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's been really interesting I've really found people open up and you have to give them a chance to yeah, which I think is a bit of a rarity now Everyone's pretty keen to share their opinion rather than hear anyone else's so It's been really cool. I'd say the best thing is being people that I've thought I've been quite intimate with Have revealed a lot about them that I didn't know Yeah, again Just given the forum to speak in a non in a non-judgmental forum given the chance to speak about their experiences Which has been really cool and it's taught me a lot about myself as well at the same time So yeah, awesome.

It's really cool. You've actually been able to learn about yourself as well as yeah Yeah, I find every week when I'm talking about the interviews and stuff like that It's a massive self-reflection tool like I'm always typing him up and then they'll say some line and I go Jesus I was doing that this way where it was like I fall into this trap with my happiness sort of thing So it's it's good. It's grounded me a lot, which has been really cool What's been your main I guess learning point or takeaway from it so far?

I guess the biggest thing is I'm listening to everybody the mistakes that they make What they think they make is a mistake towards achieving their own happiness. I'll make a lot of them Yeah, so obviously they're only aware of their own sort of mistakes Whereas I've I get to look at this whole pool of people that I've been everyone about hundred people at this point. Excellent so when I When I can look at all that I do quite often if I'm in a shit shit way I kind of look back and reflect upon the interviews and stuff like that and they do give me a lot of scope towards how Things are going.

Yeah, but just the mistakes people make which is probably the biggest ones expectations But I don't think that would be a surprise to anyone. Yep Yeah, probably when you get 100 people and sit down and talk to them and it's on paper and you go Well, everyone's got the same issues. Yeah, exactly exactly. So it's been interesting. It's been really really interesting So why did you start it? What was the the motivation? What was the the reason for it? Oh, it was because I was in a bad spot personally I'd I had it was sort of a I'd honestly say the worst week of my life in it was September last year.

Yeah I The relationship that I wasn't ready to exit had ended which happens like it wasn't a negative thing. It just happened. Um, I was told cuz I was in Europe at the time I was told by the time I get back my Grandma wouldn't be alive. I basically raised me more or less She was always a part of my life, which is a bit so that happened the day after I the relationship broke up and then two days after that I found out that There's been some real family trouble like as in this family was about to split up which it and I'm not happening But either way I just had these series.

It was space of four days. Probably the three worst bits of news I've ever got in my life as I said now happened and I went from a sort of Period just ecstatic happiness always happy always up and about like I'd always fans to find something positive to be around And then I went into this slump where I was like, oh geez I don't know what I'm doing like I'd for me when I sort of looked at it objectively I didn't really have that much to worry about I exited a relationship in a healthy way.

We still talk and we're still friends good Grandma had a really good life and we're sort of Eunice was coming So sort of thing the family ones crap, but worse things have happened to better people So and I was in Europe it was a middle of summer I was doing I was taking all the boxes or most of the boxes So I should still been happy but then I came crashing down And I sort of I came back home and then I was just like really lost and I just thought I'm just gonna reach out

to people and I was More and ever because I'm not obviously as most men are I wasn't great at read It's sort of opening up and be like I'm doing really badly So I sort of like dodging on the subject ask my friends the key question is what is happiness to you and asked a lot of my friends and I sort of came to the point where nobody could really answer it off the top of their head Yeah, and then you're sitting there and we're in this sort of society through social media and stuff like that.

What happens is everywhere It's absolutely everywhere media advertising. It's just I can't get away from it Yeah, and then you sit down and ask someone about it and they barely know about it themselves Can't actually explain and put it put it. Yeah Yeah, exactly. So I found that really weird even the happiest people I knew were just like that had to sit up sit down and think about it for five minutes or so No, I just found that really odd And then I sort of started thinking maybe there's a connection correlation between that and these

extreme mental health rates that we sort of experience Yeah, especially the young generations And I was just sort of started talking about people and I was gonna do a coffee table book sort of thing and I thought Before I don't dump all my time and went into that I'm gonna put on social media and then it's just kind of gone from there Fantastic. Yeah, awesome How I guess how much did it impact you having everything? Hit you at once rather than kind of one of those things at a time when when one bad thing happens most of us can Deal with it.

Yeah, well we enlist our support networks and all the people around us But when all of those things happen at once now happening to a lot of and with a lot of your support networks How did you deal with it and how did it affect you? I Was pretty rough. I can still remember it To be honest has some pretty dark thoughts at that point Which haven't been uncommon in my past because finally I thought I'd actually tip it. I wasn't a happy person for most of my life. Yeah So that was the base That

was the basis why I was so like you just said literally all my support groups had gone Like I had my friends but I was in Europe So but you know, the girlfriend was gone my grandma who I quite often call up and talk to her about problems So if it was the mom and dad thing I would have gone back to grandma to talk to her about that and I found out she's an ICU So I was basically just like that was the first point in my life or it's something so bad It happened that I've just gone like holy shit.

I'm alone here Because I was the people I was traveling with. I know for two days. I'm gonna drop that on the thing, you know All right, if how I dealt with it was I actually became really destructive drinking a lot Just typical sort of guys lashing out sort of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It's just you know, like Just being aggressive and not obviously not in a constructive way because you can be aggressive in a constructive way Just being really negative about it. Just like I don't give it. I don't care if I'm you know I get pissed drunk and I end up in the other side of Portugal.

I don't know where I am I don't have any money sort of thing. It's just like whatever happens happens and just yeah, and then I was thinking about chucking money on my credit card and just Traveling for as long as I can sort of thing just literally running away from the problems but then I sort of calmed down a little bit after a couple of weeks and sort of started working through those issues because something I've gotten better at but that was Yeah, it was it was hard to deal with obviously But just you know

because I've always been someone who's been with the people I'm intimate with very good at talking to about those sorts of issues, especially my family That's probably why I was so hard because I was at the point where I didn't want to burden them With what I was going through because I was going through something as well the rest of my family's at home So I wanted to talk to them about my girlfriend and grandma, but then I knew everything that was happening about that at home So I was just like I was just sort

of sitting there just and this you know There's just all this stuff rumbling around inside I just didn't know what to do, you know And I felt like I started to pretend to be happy and stuff like that to the people. I didn't know Probably which I hate doing I just hate that sort of false sense of I guess being and I think it's everywhere I hate people that pretend to be happy when they're not. I don't hate them I hate the fact that they feel the need to do it. Yeah, because it I think

yeah Yeah, it does you imagine disservice and it's never fixed a problem pretending to be happy You know, obviously if you're just having a bad day and you're grumpy Yeah, but if you're like seriously battling depression you continue to be happy all the time I'll try to be in a false sense then it I don't think it helps anyone. So yeah, it just adds to the problem I guess yeah exactly. What was what was the turning point between moving from being I guess destructive in different ways to move being constructive and Starting to move forward with everything.

I knew I knew the things that made me happy which is weightlifting my friends Even work to some degree even though I didn't want to do them at the time I made myself do them. Yep, because I know more or less a busy brain or a constructive brain is generally conducive to happiness So I just made myself do that like I would say I was depressed But I just got in the weight room and I did it I wasn't you know, it wasn't smashing up here as every day, but I was just in there you're just doing yeah I was just doing something.

I just kept myself busy. You know, I like I love reading so I just read it No, I didn't feel like it and then Probably when the projects evolved which was November last year, so I was about three weeks after I got back That's where it sort of really took a turn for me. That was a big one just because it was for the reflection that it Gave because I did do a couple of interviews that nobody's saying because they were quite Truth be told they're quite dark and people give me honest suicidal thoughts that

they battle with every day And then you know that was a big like whoa, okay, you know, it's not that bad Yeah, you know people talking about drug abuse and alcohol and all that sort of thing and they'll never be released because they asked me Not to yeah, and that's a principle I work off. It's their story So yeah, of course, it's not my right to share it if they don't want to So that was that was a big one Sort of just yeah against grounding me. Just making you think like, you know Yes shit happens and it was a hard time for me.

But you know, I'm still I'm still young. I'm still fit I've still got I do have a support network whether I want to reach out to them or not. Yeah I've got a job like this. It's about taking stuff. What do you do have like I could look at it and go well My grandma's not gonna be here for much longer, you know the family the family unit is in the way it used to be and so you can think about everything you've lost so you can think about the things that you have gained like Retrospect and you know just being able to reflect all that sort of stuff.

That's what helped me and again just keeping busy You know, you know if you do I think there's some validity in saying, you know This is what I was doing when I was happy, you know, I don't feel like doing it. I should do it anyway Yeah, and it will slowly get yourself back into that sort of groove Yeah, one of the little quotes that we're using here is action drives motivation and you don't necessarily have to want to do something at that time but if you know that it's gonna help or you think that it should help and you know that it's gonna move you towards that That place that usually will get you up and about eventually.

Yeah So how important for you as it was talking to other people about their happiness in terms of helping you with yours? Oh It was it was a godsend Religious but it was it's I reckon it saved me for lack of a better term just because I'm not someone and this is the Again, the premise of the project works off. I'm not someone that will want to be told this is how you get happy So if you'd come to me and go on Ed, you need to start lifting weights again. It's gonna make you happy I'm actually the kind of guy that's gonna go like fuck lucky.

I'm gonna go not lift weights Yeah, like I'm I would rather have passive information that rather than active information if that makes sense I'd rather like the project is have an objective point of view when I'm not being this information isn't being forced to him Yeah, right, you know, you're just asking questions. Yeah. Yeah, and that's why Yeah, so that that for me I guess I'm my own biggest follower because that's what I do every single time and reflect upon it So I think that's that's the biggest thing that I got out of the interviews hundred percent The first question you ask everyone in terms of what is happiness.

Yeah, what's your definition of happiness? self development And I think that could be multifaceted. So obviously I love my gym Yeah, so that's always good, but that's more a health point of view But then again health can be mental health of course physical health Health in your relationships. So for me, there's four major pillars of my self-development Intellectual spiritual Physical and mental which is the general rule of thumb Health in general, but yeah, so my physical I don't want to be I love my little big weightlifting I'm not expecting to go to the Olympics, but I have my goals.

I want to reach and you know I want to put on maybe half a kilo on the bar every week. Okay, awesome Spiritual that's more to do with Practicing mindfulness because that's something I've never been good at I've always been like always busy my brain and really hard to sit down Sort of thing, you know going to bed million miles now Doing I sound familiar. Yeah. Yeah, you know a little while ago Like I'm getting a lot better at it, but that's definitely something I've struggled with Yeah so in the mental health side of things,

it's like that ties into the mindfulness a fair bit just to do with Realizing the negative thought patterns you can fall into and then stopping them like literally yes at work I was just thinking oh, you know shit There's another customer coming and then I'm just going then you know I look at the fact that you have to say at work for another hour Yeah well you can just look at the fact that it's an extra hours pay and then I sort of made that choice and it sounds a Little bit like la de da

blah blah, but I literally just looked up in the sky I was the parents go by and you know, I think that's why nature sort of It's so conducive to happiness You always like, you know, mate when you're out and I think when you're standing for men you're looking at everything You kind of realize how small you are. Yeah, you know nice way. It's not like I'm seeing significantly insignificance is a blessing yeah in a way because you understand well and You would have understood when you see other people's problems you understand. Well, yes, I have problems.

Yes I've got shit going on. Everyone's got shit going on. Everyone's got life is happening to everyone Yeah all at the same time, but it allows you to kind of escape yourself for a second And yeah, I guess yeah, you mentioned like I love hiking because you get out there and it's just you're just walking You're looking at everything and it's you're not stuck in your own little little world. You're out in I guess the big big world So yeah, that's it. That's really really important What do you think are the main areas people struggle with in terms of happiness Where do they get lost or get stuck when they're looking for?

Happy expectations is a big one, but I don't want to touch on that too much because everyone sort of knows that yeah um, I Think the biggest one is who you set up surround yourself with and people usually take that as your friendship group But it's also what you're doing. Yeah, I funnily enough because I'm largely involved in social media I Just do not agree with social media in the current way. It's used It's extremely negative and there's been studies done to link it link higher links to you know, narcissism Sociopaths I have a high

tendency of using social media regularly, which probably doesn't sound good for me you know all these sorts of links to negative functions within the In your brain and your mind state to do with involving yourself in social media And I think the issue is it does tie back into expectations. Yeah what you expect to get out Yeah, you're looking at you know, whoever it might be flashing their bum on the beach and it's a beautiful sunset And then you're sitting here in Melbourne or me as they tied to a tree Yeah, and it starts raining

You can see why if you're looking at that and then you're looking at your situation You'd see why you'd be like Jesus is a bit crap But you know, there's there's always gonna be someone having it better than you That's just how life is and there's always gonna be someone worse than you exactly You're always gonna be sorry, you know for me I work off the premise of as long as you're alive and you breathe and you're doing pretty well And I think it's a good start if you're in Australia, especially the country we live

in you You can't really complain doesn't take much to go and look at kids that are literally eating rats for dinner and drinking Contaminated water because that's all they've got. Yeah, so a little bit of perspective But I'd say that one expectation social media is so just so big and it's just so big and it's not going away It's the honey. So how can we get to a point where it becomes a positive aspect of our lives? It's really hard because I've had issues with this So I've been invited to do lots of talks and

I might burn a few bridges here lots of talks with self-help people and stuff like that and I found more often than not there's people in the self-help industry and there are a few people that aren't like this I'm more concerned with sharing their own story than they are of helping people So that's why I've stepped away from most of the projects for that reason There's been a few I've been involved with like the one with cam Which I just honestly I don't have time to do with my project and working. Yeah, but this the

talks and stuff like that It's just people want to share their story Rather than help others, which is a real issue and that's the problem. There's so much ego and Self-centeredness that's funneled into social media. Yeah, so you sort of pick up on those habits. It's like that quote sort of thing What is it? You're a collection of the five closest people to you? Yeah If you don't have that many close people you're involved if social media is one of those five people Basically, yeah, exactly. Yeah, and like I'm On my phone like if you

want to talk about the hours I put into the project every week if you include the social media stuff I do with promoting and stuff like that It would be upwards of 80. Yeah That's just how I am. I'm on it for about Well, geez half an hour every two hours For about four. Yeah, 14 hours a day So it's a heavy time investment But for me, I think just you got to be aware like it's it's a win this is a big one We do phones. I know I'm on too much and we're all on it too much But yeah, and I just fight to myself and I'm sure you didn't say I'm sure everyone listening Justifies.

Hey, I'm doing this. I'm doing this. Yeah, I use work as an excuse all the time. Yeah Oh, yeah, it's this work. I need it. Do you write back to this person? Yeah, but being aware of it allows you to go no, I'm gonna put it down or I love Doing this podcast is I turn my phone on silent and turn the Wi-Fi off and turn the Wi-Fi off on my laptop And there's no distractions. It's just us talking. Yeah I'm aware of that lack of distraction the rest. Yeah rest of the day. Yeah, and it's so important and What are the what are the things you tell yourself?

To become aware to get off the phone to get off the computer I just need to just do it just do it. Yeah, so the biggest thing I do is 930 every night phones off Unless I get something really important, but it's literally on the other side of the room before I go to bed It's half an hour read good. It doesn't matter if it's a newspaper. Just anything just Disconnecting because I find if I'm on my phone all the time and then I go straight to bed then it's again My brain just got a million miles an hour.

Yeah, I just I just don't think you can I Just think sleep is so undervalued in terms of mental health. That's a big one Again, and I'm sure you've seen this people go. I'm not in a good way recently, but you know you look at their diet You look at how they exercise Yeah, when you look at how they sleep and you just like it's no wonder your brains just all over the joint because it's just It's in panic mode. Yeah, we use we use a little really simple pyramid here health function performance Yeah health

everything nutrition sleep all of those things come into it And if they're if they're struggling with their function of performance, which is why people come into here They don't tend to address the health part. Yeah, I don't dress. It's really simple I just need to eat better or I need to improve my hydration or I need to sleep and all those kind of things which Yeah, it's it's so simple and so it's almost too simple. Yeah, I want that complex answer people won't know I'm a victim I've got this right. I've got these going on and it's yeah, it's right to say it's everywhere I think I think that's a real issue indicative of all society.

Everybody wants a complicated answer Sometimes it's simple as and I and I do involve myself heavily in the mental health sort of sphere But I don't really want to be I'd rather talk about the societal issues at it in a large little way. Yeah again Especially on social media the mental health sphere is very egotistical. It's all people, you know I see girls talking about mental health and stuff like that and they're in a bikini Yeah, well, I don't think that's gonna be helping the 14 year old who probably think she's a little bit overweight sort of thing You feel better about herself.

It doesn't matter what the caption says. Yeah, I truly believe we're visual creatures So obviously we can learn through writing reading and writing and stuff like that But I think a picture sticks with you a little bit longer than the others. Definitely so It's just yeah, it's hard. It's really hard in terms of what we're going doing for loop. What can people do to be more aware? I think you just got it. It's like anything you're gonna have systems in place So, you know, it's like the old trick, you know, you never go to the supermarket hungry You find yourself wondering you always go with the lolly.

Oh, yeah So you eat before you go to the supermarket then when you walk past that packet of Oreos, it's not as tempting anymore So you go what you meant to do do go there and do what you meant to do so I think the biggest thing is just um You gotta find your triggers and if you're really and this is why I practice mindfulness if you're really mindful about it You can notice it happening. I think a lot of people are Sort of on autopilot in a sense so they go through life and then

they go, you know Someone talks to them wrong way or even use time through social media and we've all done it like we've all done this There's someone we don't really like seeing a fade but we like sort of being native towards them. So Yeah, I'm literally know someone doing it now I just like I just don't follow them the other night cuz I've been like two days and we're watching this shit I'm just like and I just get angry about it Yeah, because you know you can scream and rant all you want about it,

but unless you say something nothing's gonna change So you sit there being basically the ultimate hypocrite just going I suck And you know It's just it's a bit funny. So you're just gonna be aware of that sort of stuff and just take it out of your life Yeah, you know if you unfriend someone Facebook because you don't like them they get all she that's more of a reflection of them Of course, so like I went through and did a clean up of my Facebook and I've done it in the past But like there's people I just don't talk to I'm stoked.

I made it. Yeah School and that was nearly like fucking ten years ago now Yeah, so eight years ago now and I haven't talked to them since you know Like this really if you want to get into contact with me, you could you know, I've got a LinkedIn I've got all that sort of stuff I think you haven't talked to someone after eight years. I think this is another issue, especially well really just with Younger people were super sensitive take everything super person. Yeah, of course. So when You know hypothetically haven't talked in ten years. I don't imagine you'd be super miffed about me Unfriending you on Facebook.

Yes, but people people they take it personally. Yeah, they're just like why not Michael You haven't interacted with my page at all and not from an ego point of view at the same time I haven't interacted with you at all for you know, nearly a decade There's probably no point in me having this thing like all it does is just you know, it's just there but at the same time Is that us? Placing too much going on Facebook possibly. Yeah from a person's point of view and ask putting too much investment into it Yeah, I mean being if you catch up with that the seat or run into that person on the street Yeah, you're probably gonna say hi.

You probably ask them how they're going and then you're probably gonna move on with your life. Yeah, but You unfriend them on Facebook and there's all these negative feelings like it. Yeah, it's it's kind of it's kind of insane to a point It's really funny though because again social media is going nowhere because it speaks to a very base of nature of the human being which is to communicate with people And like you said over connected and over stimulated. Yeah, exactly But like you said it's really nice to just sit down and talk with someone

and that's what I get the most thing when I'm actually interviewing the people is a Non-judgmental forum where we just exchange ideas So I'll usually talk to the people for about half an hour beforehand just to sort of suss them out and I can sort of read Now I'm getting better at it read where I don't want to go in case because I don't push anyone of course interaction I don't want to go so It's yeah, it's it's very ironic. You could never had more tools to connect with social media But there's never been less

connectivity on a genuine sense Yeah, like you can comment in people's photos and all that sort of stuff But you know if you really cared about how they're doing all that sort of stuff instead of saying I miss you You just pick up a phone to call. Yeah, I mean there's there's calls in Facebook Messenger now Yeah, you got no excuse like I love social media I couldn't do what I do without it So it has its benefits But I'm also very when there's a very dark side to it and that awareness is where it comes in because I'm here It's not going anywhere.

It's it's all absolutely not and the like we talked about mental health and Again, no ex like I'm nowhere near an expert on the topic But we see a lot of different people in here and we see how they interact with each other and with their phones with social Media so we get a fair I guess Idea, or we're educated to a point on What effect it's having? But it's not going anywhere and they're growing up with it now or kids are going out with it now and that's all they know like even used to Pick up the phone.

Yeah, like, you know 100 years ago people couldn't pick up the phone So yeah, exactly, but we've managed to you utilize that to Mostly positive I guess. Yeah experience. Do you think? awareness is enough to Help us move forward and turn social media into a positive positive thing. I don't think social media will ever be positive Yeah, I think I think that sounds really grim and understand that but it's just I'm just thinking about the demographics that use it the most interactive demographic is the teenagers and Unfortunately when you are going through this that phase of development both physically and mentally you crave validation and that's what yeah Social media can give you instantly.

Yeah, so that's the that's the track you fall into it. That's why and I've done this personally I used to be into the bodybuilding sort of stuff and you know You're posting shots of you flexing in the mirror and stuff like that. They're still on my Instagram Yeah, so, you know and that was 110% you act like you're sort of you know looking for You know, you're like all of my progress and you know, okay, I'm working but really you just want to pat on the back Yeah, and that's what you're looking for. So unfortunately when you've got that sort of Security again funneling into it.

It just doesn't it just doesn't it's not conducive to a strong mental state yeah, and I think a lot can be said for people that's kind of just shut up and do things like I can say Like I said to you before I'm gonna hop in my van and blah blah blah But it's it's it's it's nothing until it happens exactly like you saying like I'm sure you said it's a couple of people before you Actually, I'm opening a gym Yeah, and you know that sounds really cool and exciting but you know It's not anything and obviously you've done it and you've been super successful.

It's not anything till it happens. So any when you invest all your time and energy into a Especially something so volatile as social media Yeah, whereas you could be following a trend and doing really well and then when that trend switches literally overnight sometimes Yeah, you left it. Yeah, exactly. So It's really it's really it's really hard because there's there's a dark side to human nature Which I don't think is the true what people are really like. I think people are generally good But it's an interesting conversation. Yeah, and I agree. I agree everyone most

people want it most people want to do the right things for the right reasons and there's so many different factors that Mean that they don't necessarily all the time or they go down the wrong path or make the wrong decision things like that but most people just want to be happy and and Surround themselves with friends and people that they want to get something out of and they want to move forward and they want to progress and and yeah, and that's I guess something that We all strive for is we all want to have that group of friends.

We want to be happy and things like that How has this project the human happiness project change your perception of happiness? I think the biggest thing is I fell into the trap of happiness was more or less constant across your life Yeah, I thought that you're either happy person or unhappy person. I don't think that's true. I think you can be Genetically inclined to be a happy person or an unhappy person But I don't think that contributes to a large majority of your happiness because like I said before I'm not happy person I wasn't a happy person.

Yeah, I like to think of myself as now but again I have More or less passively through the project. I have tools to make me Aware of when I'm not being happy and when I'm being a little bit ungrateful about things or like for example I set goals to how many followers I want this week I might want 300 followers, which there's been times in the past where I've had 600 followers in a week And then I go well, I'll go for 300 then I get 120 and then I get really shitty Yeah, so and

then I've got a you know, sort of calm myself down and go Well, you know You already know that your page is bigger than 90% of the pages out there on Instagram out of the billions or millions There are already I think sometimes I expect to be like the biggest page on Instagram sort of thing Which I know is never gonna happen perspective, but you know, you sort of get caught up in that trap so my perception of happiness, I think the biggest thing is the Perspective of happiness and that you can't have happiness without sadness.

It's a ying and yang sort of thing. I think that's something a few people Kind of want again is the expectation through social media Especially young people that happiness is constant because it is a whole lot real people exactly, you know I'm not gonna play through it's all the happy stuff Yeah, you're not gonna see a photo of me just you know, really shitty on a Tuesday morning So I have to go into work and I've slept, you know, like you're not gonna say that nobody wants to say that So for me it's it's It's

taught me to really appreciate the good times But at the same time I have an appreciation for the bad times Yeah to be able to look back like that really bad week for me and go that told me a lot about myself About my own sort of resilience that I do have that in me when I need it. Yeah, and that happiness You know when it is present in your life is not gonna be there the whole time You know, that's life and that's not something to be like. Oh shit. I'm gonna lose this It's just it means be grateful in the situation.

You're in just really be thankful for the fact that you are having a good day Yeah, I don't realize at the same time if you get up and go. Oh shit. I've got to go to work You know, I'm not I don't want to go to work today That's gonna be indicative of a shit day But if you wake up and go, you know I'm gonna have a I'm gonna have a really good day today and you just say that to yourself and it sounds really corny and I Actually got that from one of my interviews.

Yeah And I actually tried it in about a week. I started feeling really good Really makes a difference. Yeah, and it sounds like really like like those self-help people just wake up with a smile Just like especially he's like a young man. I'm just like I don't like that That sounds a little bit shit, but I tried it and it just works. So I'm just positive self-talk is a big one yeah, I think just for me my my ideals around happiness have shifted a lot but more towards Appreciating when you are happy and then realizing

if you are in a shit spot or having your shit day Even yeah that there's something to learn from it and you can sort of animal help you build tools around Progressing through shit spots a little bit quicker maybe or next time that same situation comes up You can stop yourself stop it from becoming a shit spot. You can just make it a positive experience yeah, and I think that it's important to understand and be mindful that like I said, there's happy times and there's no times and there's indifferent times and Being able to one

identify whether you're happy or whether you're sad or whether you're feeling indifferent and then being able to go Well when I am feeling sad, these are the things that help and when I am feeling sad These are the things I can learn from it and when I'm when that indifference is there and you just I don't care Yeah, cool. Let's rest up. Let's regenerate and then let's let's go again tomorrow I wake up with a smile on your face and I could not agree more like with the the way you tell yourself You feel that's probably how you're gonna feel.

Yeah you know, I use the example of I've slept in a couple of times and miss miss clients and or being late to a session or something like that and With being the owner of the gym and coming in to open up the gym that the buck stops with me There's no one else that can open up. Yeah, there's no one else that's usually here to open up and things like that so If I come in and I'm shitty and I'm cracking the sads and I walk in then I'm probably gonna have you know Another

14 hours at work where I'm shitty, but if I come in and go yeah accidents happen I'll learn from it and make sure that I actually set my alarm tomorrow Yeah, and come in with a smile on my face and automatically everyone everyone who sees me when they come in Oh, he's in a good mood. He'll be right and it's so important, but it gets missed really really. Yeah. Yeah, I think I think People in a weird way. I know it's so easy to do you you undervalue the bad times. I have this motto That

I sort of tell myself every single day when I feel like I'm being challenged and I sort of repeat it to myself every So often when I'm going through a hard spot and I truly believe this is that through our challenges through our challenges that we grow Most yeah, you don't see lazy people and this can go simply as simple as something in the gym You know, if you're hitting five by five at 80% you're gonna grow. Yeah, if you're hitting five by five at 40% You're gonna be doing it for your whole life, you

know Obviously validity in form training all that sort of stuff but from a basic premise if you're not pushing yourself You're not growing and you know that again it comes down simple as something is, you know, squeezing out a rip. Yeah Or just you know smacking on that smile and not in a false sense in a I don't I'm not saying you know I feel like breaking down crying. I'm just gonna smile through it. Yeah, there's validity in all emotions I think there's it's a real disservice to say there's good and bad emotions because they're

just emotions yeah, and that speaks to me is I get I guess my sort of thing we Society pushes us push us away from an animalistic nature so far Which is easy to do when you look around when we're the only ones driving cars and all that sort of thing But yeah at the end of the day Technologies evolved so much so quickly, but we haven't yeah in terms of the actual time spent how much technology's changed compared to us So you got to realize, you know you know absolutely Stupid example where we're chimpanzees in

a spaceship or less You know, you can't you can't beat yourself up cuz you have like a space on a spaceship without a roof exactly I just push those extremes right to the end, but you know, it's Yeah, you can't you can't be mad at yourself having a shit day. Yeah, some people do they bet themselves up They go, you know, well, you know lucky's happy everyone's and it runs the next day Yeah, lucky's happy all the time or you know lucky's really successful and you know My business isn't doing as well as that but

like you can look for reasons to be shitty But at the same time you can look for reasons to be most of those reasons being she comes from that comparison exactly Yeah, like you're quite on the wall out there Comparisons is the biggest thief of joy. It is it is and yeah, and it's one of those things. It's really really simple But when you look within yourself and go well, this is what I want to achieve It's my action that is going to get me to the point where I can improve and I can adapt and things like that Life doesn't happen for you.

It happens because of you. It doesn't happen to you. Sorry happens because of you So when you start putting actions in the place things start changing Yeah, and you spoke about use the gym example, which is perfect because it's it's all like stress is basic biology It's if our body stressed it goes. Okay, this sucks. How do I adapt and how do I improve and how do I get better? So if we if we put ourselves in negative situations Then we're gonna keep beating us up down beating us up down and eventually that stress will

end up in getting sick or having Possibly mental health issues or possibly, you know being injured or something along those lines So it's really important to find those positives and you know Allow it to grow and allow it to flourish and there's this there's to it It's just us that sort of coin with the stress sort of thing Like I interviewed and I'm sure some of the people in your podcast with no microshade the big bodybuilder And he had a great long that just says stress isn't good or bad 100% how you metabolize it and you should look at other people.

So, you know, you can work 16 hour days I personally don't think I could work 16 hour days and I commend you for it But it's not about going like oh my I'm shit because lucky can work 16 hour days and I can't yeah, you know It's just going well, obviously you can metabolize that stress better There's oh there's gonna be situations where I perform better. Like I'm not gonna expect you to go into tree surfing Thing obviously I could I could do a bit better there but like, you know, it's all about Yeah metabolizing that stress.

And again, we can't keep coming back to this awareness. So if you go I'm gonna keep comparing it to a physical because it's a little bit easier and I guess reliable to your the podcast is here You know you got it. Well, man handstrings really tight and I sort of it's good. It's weighing it I don't really like it, but I'm gonna go into gym and do a full session anyway You know, that's obviously you're gonna more than likely gonna put your body under more stress than it can hand Yeah, exactly. It's the same with

your mental health when you link it back to that So if you go like I'm feeling really badly and Then you keep on pushing yourself down that road. So it might be I'm overwhelmed, you know I'm just I don't want to go out and see this person. I don't want to do this, you know, I'm Even with things that you should do like studying. Yeah, or even working out Sometimes you just don't want to work out and there isn't an issue missing one workout, you know, usually you will feel better So sometimes you do sell for us.

Yeah, you just need to just sit there and just you know still in the couch watch TV It's not that doesn't mean you're an unproductive piece of shit, which most of us sort of talk ourselves into thinking We are that you know, it's about it's about It's about balance, you know, yeah, you know you can work out too much Yeah, I think you can eat too healthy into the point where you push it into sort of a disorder Yeah, obviously, it's not surprising to hear that you can eat too unhealthy But you know, it's even you just gotta you just got to know yourself and I think that's the biggest thing Yeah to do with happiness.

A lot of people are walking around pretending to be someone they're not So because we see what everyone else is doing. Yeah. Hey, why can't I do that or why can't I eat that? Oh, what kind of has got 10,000 followers and she does this so I'm gonna do that too But we see like we see everyone's lives through a keyhole, yeah, we see it's like it's like I can't remember Where I heard it but looking at someone else's life is like looking through a keyhole of a three-story 20-bedroom house, you don't know all the

other things you don't know Yeah things happen and that's you know, we go back to social media again and awareness but you see a snapshot of their day or their week or their you know, something that's filtered up and and Completely different to maybe how that was and I was talking to Reese one of my housemates last night and about an Instagram page That's basically like the truth of Instagram or something like that and it shows Well, this is what it looked like in point a and this one what it looked like when when this

chick who was sitting down We six-pack it stood up and twisted a little bit and it looks completely different and it's it's that perception And that ability to understand and be aware and say well, you know There's a good chance that that's a really good angle and they're really good filters and that's putting someone to look like that But when you bring it back and don't compare yourself to others again comparison is a thief of joy and you actually go well Back to me. How can I improve? How can I feel better and and all those kind of things?

and yeah, like I said that rests and that ability to Identify the stress is massive. It's really really important With and this is kind of I was thinking about happiness and you've asked me all the questions that you're a bunch of the questions You asked most people and I've answered Deal I Kind of look at happiness in kind of two different ways. We can either chase happiness and find the things that we love doing which Ultimately should make us happy but if we can't find those things it's usually comes down to there's barriers to happiness and there's There's someone or something or something that's stopping us from being happy.

How important do you think that is to identify which one? Makes an individual happy and at certain times as well because it's gonna be different In terms of your individual happiness It is imperative to know what what your barriers are just like I was saying before I know what trick is me Yep, I Know that when I'm at work And it's literally and I know what it is. It's literally my blood sugar cool shopping. I get so grumpy My dad does as well. I'm literally just he's grumpy. She's a banana So that's literally why I

got my cashies here I just walking around munching on nuts or something like that and then so I know when I get grumpy So I know there's other things but I also know that if I Set really big goals, which sound really cool Like you tell someone, you know, I'm gonna have 10,000 followers. They do you or I'm gonna bench press 200 kilos The end of the year, you know, it sounds really cool But you might be seeing on 120 kilo bench press and you're pretty much pushing it You've only you're on 110 last year. You're probably you know, but out of your depth.

Yeah So and it sounds all cool to do that, but it's you gotta be gonna be realistic. So in terms of the importance of knowing What your triggers are and what your barriers are I think it's imperative but that again comes down to what we were talking about before Is in knowing yourself some people don't know then they just sort of bump into them and then go What the fuck was that and then keep on bumping into it? So yeah, yeah, I think I think it's imperative What's next where to from here you've I've got a new segment coming good the project itself.

It's called behind the mask I'm gonna get a 3d printed mask covering two-thirds of person space on one side. They're going to Write everything they're proud about themselves on the inside of that which will be the second sort of photo will be everything They hide from everyone else. That's cool. So the idea is it's very simplistic There might be any text behind it or something like that The idea is is just being honest with yourself It's honesty because that's the thing that's come up quite a bit recently as I've sort of interviewed Older people and that is something I think you learn from life experiences.

Yeah, you know, you can fool everyone around you You can fool, you know people in your social media all that sort of stuff But you know at the end of the day when you lie down in bed, whether it's with your partner or by yourself You know the truth, you know, and you can keep living that lie as long as you want But I think that's where a real sort of mental health problem I'm talking depression and suicidal thoughts and stuff about if you live a life long enough There's either the truth is going to

come to the surface eventually It always does or you're going to come you're going to come to the realization when you lie down This the stuff that you're putting out there just isn't the way it is, which is Sad, but the way I think the way you get happy is three sort of things the personal development Self-awareness in the sense of just knowing who you are and Being okay with it. So self-awareness and self-acceptance. So that's sort of what I'm going for with the last thing so You know, you just got a you got to

know like I know that I am a grumpy shit Like that's just how cool I am and I can either go well That's how I am and just continue continue being addicted to people sometimes or I can work on it Yeah, you know and like where you are now doesn't mean that's where you have to be It's a six months, six weeks or two years or ten years Like I was saying for 23 years of my life I wasn't a happy person But if you ask people now, I think that's how I'm a happy person

I'm sure there'd be a couple of customers at the maze that would probably disagree if I caught you on a bad day but you know you can you can You put it down to you your nature But I think once you know that through and through which again comes from life experience. Yeah You can change that and again with the barriers You can be aware of those barriers and you could either avoid them if you can't avoid them work our ways around It's it's it's not I wouldn't say it's not hard Doing the actual action. I think the hard part is discovering what it is that does that to you.

So Yeah, having spoken to so many different people if if someone sits and goes I don't know if I'm happy or I don't know if I'm unhappy. What is the advice? Through all of your experience you give them to to kind of allow them to I guess learn a little bit more about themselves and actually First of all if someone come up to me and said I don't know if I'm happy then I'd straight up to say well You know, yeah, because I think it's such a basic human emotion that you'd know it. Yeah, if

you had it If they said I don't know if I'm unhappy and then again, I'd say I think you probably are in terms of what they What I do to help them I honestly interview them but not put it out there in it I wouldn't have my camera. I wouldn't do my mind map I just give a question I guess so like you sort of probably but in a gentle and long confrontational way You just want to I guess more or less be present with them because we do that So often like it's even like you and your son.

How are you? You know But you know You got to put them in a position where they're ready to open up for one That's a big one, but you just gotta you still listen to them. I think It's such it's such a gift to be able to genuinely listen to someone And there's so few people that do that I think you most of the people I've met through this project I've been extremely fortunate to meet that they are willing to listen and they're willing to talk But I think that's I'd say that's a rarity in because you know everybody's just caught up in this business Yeah, and I actually hate busyness.

I think it's a stupid term I've heard you say, but I know you're genuinely busy, but I think it's a lot of people that sort of where business Yeah, yeah, and it's busyness because I need to be busy I need to get busy to be success exactly But you know there's busyness because you've got 10 hours of clients throughout the day and a couple of hours of admin and things like That and I probably use it as a badge of pride sometimes without really realizing it I'm aware enough to understand that if I'm busy Then

I don't have the freedom and I guess flexibility that I want as a as a business owner as a gym owner as a as a coach But I do enjoy being busy, but I think there's different connotations to that word that some people look at it as well I have to be busy to be successful I think I think people sort of this busy for busy busy for a purpose and there's busy for busy side and if you're just busy for busy side then I Think you should probably look at what's going on in your life and sort of trim the fat Yeah, and understand why you why are you busy or what you're actually working towards or yeah?

And I think I think that's that's really important because again if you're a person that's really busy all the time Sometimes if you're not doing if your things that are busy aren't something that fulfill you You're gonna lie down in bed, and then you just kind of go. What was that for what was the point? Yeah, and that does catch up to you eventually you can again You can live that sort of not that it's a lie, but you can leave that sort of fairy tale for a little bit Yeah, but eventually it's gonna catch up to you because you know there's busy for the site You can go well.

I've got now. I've got like 80 hours of clients instead of 12 months ago I have 40 sort of thing that's that's tangible progress, but if you go well You know I've been busy this whole time, but I've been doing it for four years I'm gonna pay rise for my boss. You know I can't run any further I don't have any better relationships. I've accumulated a lot of shit, but I actually got If you haven't developed as a person then I don't think there's much point to your business or a professional And yeah, I guess

in person when you say purse when I say purses could be professional of course Just even closer connections with the people you've got I think again It's just important to be doing things that are fulfilling to your life of course use the term life experience. What's the the main difference you? I guess identified between younger and older populations having interviewed probably the whole spectrum Younger people have is real and I admire them for this the really young people. I've interviewed have is real hunger to be something Which is admirable, but at the same time? I

think they tie that to being a good person being successful overseas You hear success, and you already think about the dude in the suit or the the lady in the pencil skirt sort of thing And you know they're behind the Bugatti, but for me, that's not about success. That's not success to me I didn't want to be very wealthy when I grew up, but now I want to My general rule not rule, but goal is to leave a positive influence on People's lives. I think my one of my biggest things is and I don't do

this every day, but I try to Leave everybody better than when I found perfect you know I think this It's just like the old the you see people volunteering They're always happy you know if you give something to someone you're gonna You're gonna found a have a foundation of a really good relationship with someone genuine relationship Yeah, just filled with authenticity which again is rare through social media. It's all fake sort of shit. Yeah So in terms of I think older people get that a lot more So they sort of know that it's not the

new car that makes you happy It's something you house like it's like Maslow's hierarchy of needs once you've got the house and the shelter and all that sort of thing in the food the Increments of happiness are quite marginal after that so like I think you can get sporadic happiness from getting a new car It's all very cool like you're probably free Yeah, you're very fresh very fresh, but I'm sure after driving around for a van I mean a week you know it's just it's not like I don't just be your car Yeah, and you

know there's nothing wrong with being proud of because more so because you've earned that but you know It's just as well as I do if like if KP was in the train tracks, and it was your van You know which one you're gonna go for yeah, of course, so I think as much as I admire and really enjoy seeing young kids Having a zest for life and wanting to do it I do worry that they're aiming in the wrong direction as in like being a millionaire or making you happy Yeah, when for me. I'd be

happy making $50,000 a year for men I'd have to live the life I want to live which is at this point being a nomad and just pissing off Yeah, you know standing on top of a mountain by myself and with my dog That's just all I want to do and you know obviously that can change and might make the girl in my dreams And she goes well. I don't want to do that then you're gonna make sacrifices, but there's validity in that as well So the main difference young people are just super ambitious again, but

they might not have the right direction whereas old people I just sort of get it they get what life's about and I think it's hard And we all been there you know mom and dad will tell you you know do this do that and you just go Oh, what the fuck do they know? But then you come back when you're a bit old and there you go Yeah, I think they're alright yeah So they just get it that you know the things that make you happy is a good friend Yeah, and having a glass of

wine with them at night You know you had a rough day calling up your mom or your brother yeah Your sister your dad, and you just go look I've had a shit one you just talk It's the relationships that we're able to cultivate and grow and experiences like hiking the mountain and you know like Volunteering somewhere overseas you know Traveling in general. I think there's a reason why so many people do it and why so many I know there's always who who play about you know Millennials wanting to travel too much They can't save up

to do a house because we know at the end of the day I think we know that the thing we're gonna remember is not a first home, but that trip to you know Brazil Yeah, where we went to Machu Picchu or something like that. That's the stuff you're gonna look back on when you're in your death bed Yeah, and go that was a good experience lucky enough to buy a house and to do a fair bit of travel and I've still got plenty of travel to go but Yeah, house is just somewhere to sleep at

night, but travel is like I've got memories from the trips we've done the hikes all these kind of things that I'll never forget just because it's it's different as an experience in life even Now I'm getting hit like here stand up the back of my neck thinking about it No I'm really looking forward to booking my next kind of kind of trip because I get to experience something that I haven't done It was one of my last questions, but you spoke about a little bit then so I'm gonna ask you now What is success to you?

And like I said before it's just living a positive influence as many people as I can I think there's so much For me the biggest problem. I see is people are so ready to tear someone down I think that comes out of a lack of self-reflection because if you really looked at yourself and gone, you know I'm experiencing what that is And then maybe that's why I'm lashing out towards that person Yeah, which is why you always you can have big fights with your family because it's actually the same person So you really fighting with yourself?

Yeah But I think for me, I just hate How much lack of respect there is for our common when our fellow human beings? It makes me sad that there's so much segmentation. I think there's been this extreme focus on the individualism across Society. Yeah with and I'm not saying these are invalid sort of Social issues. Yeah, they're all right. They're all reasons to like Islam and LBGT QI all that sort of stuff like I I think those people should be able to be happy in their own skin Nobody has a right to take that away

from schools One of the big principles I work in is you have no right to impede on someone else's happiness Yeah But I think it's gotten to the point where we fragmented these groups so much that rather than having a community across Australia now It's it's different groups. You've got 20 different groups all rocking around Yeah, the issue is there's an underlying narcissism where people feel more Justified, you know in what they say in terms of tearing someone down They're more ready to tear someone down rather than sitting them down and expressing their sort of

issues And I guess trials as a sort of minority in that sort of sense I don't think that happens enough And again, that's it's it's I think I feel like it. This is it's manifesting this underlying lack of respect for common human beings Yeah, because ultimately, you know, you can have a new car, you know the big house You can be the richest dude on the planet at the end of the day if you're a dick. What's the point? Yeah, exactly, but like it doesn't make you better than me Yeah, it might mean you're harder

working than me, but you might have no nice you you know You might have the most unhealthy relationships ever And the reason why that is because you've only got your work and I'm saying people I care about fall into that trap Which does pain me. Yeah but I just It's just for me the success thing is is sort of changed that mentality Maybe it's only a hundred people that I reach in my whole lifetime Yeah in an actual way that makes them change their way and but for me if it's one person and I'm happy Yeah, you made the world a better place exactly doesn't have to be but if it is two people Yeah, I affect two people.

Yeah, and two people and then you know, yeah if it goes for that far But you know, it's all about just positive influence and not in a sort of way. That's self-righteous and self-justified I don't go around saying I've had people ask me if I'm you know, what can I do to be happy? It's your answer. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm figuring that out myself. So It's just you know, you just got to be a good person. Yeah, and I think it's something that most Most people would have learned from an early age most parents would

have said it over and over again But you just treat people the way you want to be treated and exactly it's a really simple one But it's probably too simple back in there. It's too soon. Yes. Everyone wants a complicated answer If I wrote a thesis on how to be happy, yeah But just treat people like like you want to be treated I think yeah Greg the physio he's got it He's got a little quote He said how do you change the world one person at a time and like I said that flow-on effect from that person?

Who might help someone else who might help someone else and then next thing, you know You've got a whole community of people helping so that's really really important We it's something that I probably I wanted to touch on and we haven't touched on so so far so let's just we'll do it maybe we'll try and be short sharp, but Talking about things is obviously incredibly important and Understanding and learning about yourself what by talking to other people is important Why do guys have such such a trouble explaining and talking and telling people how that feel?

And a lot of girls do too, but guys specifically In my belief I think a lot of the information around sort of how guards operate or this new information is kind of false I think girls and guys Process things in very different ways. Yeah, and I think this sort of Shining onto men's men healthy trying to get them to talk isn't the way to do it Not for a lot of guys but not for me personally. I don't want to sit down the group and talk about my issues like I said I'd rather be in

my own head and sort of went over that way through passive experiences I think guys just over talk because there is so I think we're a very weird point society where we've got these groups coming through these mental health groups saying it's okay to talk but That's all really good well and good when you're an organization But if you're you know too close to smell influences whoever they might be your grandfather and your father aren't like that They're quite stoic and they you know, but they live and deal with it. Yep Then I just think you know, you know, you're gonna listen to I think men have this There is the rah rah behind it.

I think there's anything wrong with that. That's sort of demonized now. Yeah, and I Don't want to point the fingers anywhere anyone, but we we know where it's come from. There's been this feminist move Movement sort of thing, which I actually I will consider myself a feminist I don't see myself different when obviously there's a physical difference, but I don't feminism's kind of been taken over Yeah, it's gone a bit far, but that's not that's not uncommon with all these sorts of progressive movements Yeah, we've seen it happen. We've seen it happen with like this or Islamic right sort of thing LBG TQI is there they have the risk of going there is what I'm trying to say.

They're not there yet, but I think That's based to a lighter issue to do with identity. Yeah in individuals But I think men just I just I don't think they want to talk and there's that there's no point forcing someone to talk Yeah, I don't think that does anything if anything it aggravates them more from my experience again I can only talk from my own but of course The biggest thing is is we we are in this really weird paradigm of where we've got these Groups saying it's okay to talk. You know you've got to

act this way now It's not okay to be old-school male, but we still got these old generations saying you've got to be strong You've got to be stoic You know you've got to just bite your lip and deal with it And you should be chivalrous, and I think both parties have valid valid points Like if you tell me opening the door for you sexist Because you know I do that for dudes as well yeah, it has nothing to do with because you know your sex organs are yeah but I think I think men are just

being told two different things so you've got a you got old-school society telling us be this way Be a man rah rah rah which is you know probably about I'd say probably 50% of the male population is like that yeah And then there's the soft sensitive side which again has its validity because I like to think I'm fairly sensitive But you know then you've got the men that are lost which is probably about 5% of population now There's two absolutes. There's always like there's no you look at a bell curve There's always gonna be people

yeah throughout the middle and two absolutes at either end And I guess all the issues that go on and all of the the big progressive movements It's exactly the same thing everyone sits somewhere in the middle, and then there's the two ends that are fighting it out. Yeah, but Understanding that will and you spoke about it before mindfulness knowing yourself being aware You probably could probably say well I fit into I'm more this end or I'm more this end or I'm somewhere in the middle And I'm well aware. This is audio and no one can

see me move my hands around but It's once you can identify where you are yeah, it probably allows you to go well I don't need to talk to people like you said it like and I Was thinking about it today. Do I like talking about my problems, and I like to look at what's going on but Probably similar to you. I'm feeling my flow of what's going on and I can deal with a lot of the stuff Yeah, I think men are much more likely to internally metabolize sort of things Yeah, I'm gonna much more.

I'm gonna air it out with my friends with yeah, and I'm not saying either way is wrong But I just think everyone's got their own I think there's a day is in pushing men towards this whole you've got to talk about it because there's I literally interviewed someone on My podcast and I would strongly recommend anybody who's listening to this that might be dealing with a shit time his name is Ryan to go and look at that he was Fantastic, and he just said I don't want to talk about things yeah But he spoke to the truth of that is you know I don't identify with the old male sort of way of being a dick He's a sensitive person.

Yeah, so it doesn't want to be I'm gonna go talk about it. You know yeah So it's I think just men in general because of the shift that feminism has brought it brought out We're in a very weird place where we don't quite fit into different sort of Segments I guess of society, so we're a little bit confused well for the people that are already confused They're a little bit the segments is almost a problem within itself because it's it goes well You're out of here or here. Yeah, can't be a little bit of both That's it, and you can it well you have to have one opinion on this you can't have a few different things That's an issue.

That's an issue like you can see in political sphere is probably the biggest one You know these you know liberal they've gone so far away from each other. They're basically the same thing It's on a full circle. Yeah, but it's it's yeah I think again that's a societal issue where you you have to have an opinion now, and it's you know Lack of respect for those opinions so when these young men are sitting there thinking we've got these two sides I don't identify with either, but I kind of need to pick one I think that

just spawns more confusion for someone who's already confused about who they are You know what their role is and there's a there's all this awkwardness about How they develop and even if you just look at the cycle other the actual physical structure of the brain We know the frontal lobe doesn't stop developing which is your person is basically personality. Yeah Till you're about 23 to 25 as a male So you just forcing all these decisions down their throat, and they don't even know who they are yet, so I Think that's it. I think we're just confused.

Yeah. I just don't know what's going on It's it's a shift we have to deal with and it's something that's part of life But again if you're struggling with that and listen to this just find out who you are You know you know what works for you if you really think sit down think about it You just don't think we sit down think about it enough good excellent answer now We could go on probably forever, but I'm gonna finish this up with a couple of quick questions Yeah, we can go short sharp or take it where you want it if you could give teenage you one piece of advice What would it be?

Do what you have to do when you have to do it Good yeah, what's the nicest thing you've ever done for someone? Probably about a year ago. I bought a ham homeless man lunch in Portugal nice I'm shifting through a bin, and I just thought that's that's pretty disgusting like not disgusting that he was doing that But I was I was pretty disgusting that he has to live like that so I just took him out and got stuck I was probably and that's something I think again. It's an ego thing. I don't tell any people

about that It's just you know it feels good to help someone yeah And there's nothing wrong with getting your feel your good feelings from helping so exactly Yeah, I think people kind of look down on that. Oh he did that for this reason Well, that's okay, but yeah, the homeless guy still got his steak I'm proud of that moment for myself. I've never done something like that good if you give every human on earth one personality trait What would it be kindness kindness? No compassion? Compassion, I think there's a severe lack of that good a few favorites.

You can be short sharp favorite quote Be aggressive in your pursuit of that which sets your soul on fire. Oh good favorite movie Well, I have to say gladiator ripper favorite artist recording artist That's just from work to work. I'd have to say Ludovice on a bit of a classical man at times has standing favorite resource for new information different information Just books always books. We've gone on screen too much What was the last book you read start to finish and what was the main teaching point you learned from it? It's called the denial of death by Ernest Becker.

It's all about Mankind's need for heroes and within himself and why we place Sent out a sense of mortality in other people's hands and talks about how we idolize our lovers Which is ultimately why a lot of relationships break down. Yeah, why religion exists and The underlying fear of death that's natural in all animals and how we rage against it. Where do we go when we die? Where do we go? I'm not religious. I don't I've got I don't like the idea I think there's an interconnectivity with the universe I don't believe in chakras or

any of that sort of stuff but maybe I'm just not ready to accept the fact that I'm gonna be in a box and eating my worms, but That is self is giving back to the universe exactly. I think there I think energy well, we know from physics energy is a constant I don't think you just sit there and that's it But I don't I don't believe in some dirty in the sky controlling my faith. I don't like the idea of that I'm the master my own universe think everyone is but I think we enter back

into the universe whichever way you want you think about that But if you look at where we came from literally made of stardust, that's probably one of my favorite quotes Yeah, you know we're children of the children of the stars in the literal sense. So I love that I would probably would have given a very similar similar answer good How can people? Look at the project see what's going on with the project. How can people get in touch with you? Give us some it's all on the website, which is thhproject.com or just go to the Instagram which is at the full stop human full stop happiness full stop project Good.

Yeah. Oh, I'll post all the links and everything from this but thank you very much. Thank you You said you have one question for me. Yes, right. This is my new question for everyone What is the life well lived to you is life well lived? Making people better every day and enjoying the process short shot. Yeah. Thank you very much. Thank you